Dear my water bottle,
Sorry for dropping you so much, I promise I don’t mean it. You are always in my backpack or in my hand wherever I go. You definitely promised to keep my water cold for 24 hours and haven’t done that at any time, but I will get over it. But nonetheless I have to thank you for being a part of my life. You have become a part of my everyday routine.
Those days where I forget you at home are extremely difficult, I honestly don’t know how I got through those days. My addiction to you has come to a point where when I am somewhere without you and I am on my way home I get excited to come home just to drink out of you.
You have also changed with me through the years. You used to have stickers and be purple, then you were pink, then silver, then blue with a straw, and finally white with a straw. I have to admit I was a little embarrassed for you to have a straw but it made things so much better. Now I don’t have to tilt you back so far just for me to get a drop of water, which is extremely convenient so thank you for that.
I drink at least four of you every day. It really has become a coping mechanism per say. It makes me feel more comfortable. It was a way to be able to be doing something when sitting in class, around a group of people, or when teachers are calling on people.
I get nervous really easily, as you probably have noticed, and it’s something that always makes me very insecure because of how often I am just shaking and my heart is pounding. Grabbing you makes me feel like I am doing something productive and sets me free from having to go start up a conversation with someone. You are really the only thing that calms me down to a point where I swear I have to fill you up five times during every school day. That does get annoying; I wish your supply of water never ran out but it’s fine I guess.
I do wish it was easier for me to just get up and talk to people but having you be around stops me from that ever being a necessity in order to fill time before or after class. It has come to a point where people notice how much water I drink and how many of you I have and get slightly concerned about me and my well-being. But you have been my safety blanket since freshman year and made high school and whole lot easier.
Sometimes I will see someone else grab their water right away when the teacher starts to call on people or I will see the hands shake or the sudden realization that they don’t know what’s going on and then the rush to figure it out, I always wanted to give them you to get them to calm down, but obviously that would be uncomfortable for the both of us, and very unsanitary.
As much as I think you could solve the world’s problems it has hit me that maybe you don’t have to be every solution, and that someone who doesn’t fear moments of uncertainty should be the person I strive to be. I never thought that not having you in my hand would help me as a person. Talking to new people has never been my strength, you have witnessed that first hand, I always bring you to just have something to do if times get awkward. I do wish that wasn’t the case but I see other people do it and it does make me feel better and feel less alone.