There is no way we can operate at 110 percent. Yet, we are always asked to do so. Push harder, further than you think your hand can stretch. In reality, we can only stretch so far for so long.
I think most would agree with me when I say last week felt longer than most. By Friday it felt like we already passed Friday and went back to Monday. I certainly had a case of the Monday Blues.
In my math class, my teacher asked in his joking manner, “Bridget, did you do your homework?” I had to say no. I could never lie to Mr. Frees. But, I always do my homework. Of course, I thought to myself, he would ask today, today—the Friday with the Monday Blues. It was the one time all year that I hadn’t done it the night before. There just wasn’t time.
In my math class, I couldn’t smile or laugh my usual cackle. My friend in my class commented, “I have never seen you sad before. It’s weird.”
It was weird. It was the end of a busy week, one filled with tests and meetings, before, after, and during school, and papers and speeches and finally, I was done. I was done, but I was left feeling sad.
Not to brag or lament about the activities I participate in, I want to give you a sample of my week—just a snippet. Maybe it will serve as my justification for not doing my math homework. Maybe not.
After a school day riddled with AP classes, I got home only to leave again to tutor (got to get those NHS points in) for two hours. I then picked up my friend from her house so we could attend the fall play (which I needed to do for Ambassadors Club), so I could honor my committment of agreeing to lead the discussion following the production on behalf of Breaking Down the Walls.
I finally got home at 9:45. I ate dinner and fell asleep on my couch.
Friday morning I woke up at 6:15 to shower. I left my house by 6:50 so I could stop by Einstein’s to buy bagels for my Habitat for Humanity Board meeting and my English class.
This cycle of stretching and reaching keeps me busy and involved, two things I love to be. And, I love all of the things I participate in. Each one serves a purpose in my life and a greater purpose in the world. However, no matter how much I love the things I do, no matter how I tried to stretch the hours Thursday, I woke up Friday morning feeling sad, and that’s just not who I am.
I think it’s finally time for us to admit that no matter how much we want to, sometimes we just can’t. We can’t be everything we want to be or do everything we want to do. If we try, we may risk losing the people we are.
Now that I know this, now that I have experienced being the person I am not, I still can’t help myself. I can’t help but to take on the new ambassadee and finish my next article and arrange our pod project for NHS. I can’t help but repeat the cycle. I am outstetched, but now maybe I am simply more elastic.
