Zibby teaches you how to get boys


Libby McCarthy

If you really want a guy to like you, being John Cena is the way to go.

Ever in need of some grade A advice? Well, we’ve got your back with our first installment of advice from Zach and Libby (Zibby).

I like a guy but I think he likes someone else, what should I do?

Guys like girls that are different. Try full face tattoos. If you really want him to like you, try getting a tattoo of John Cena’s face on your face. Not only do guys like girls who are different, guys also like girls who are John Cena. Finally, no matter what, don’t be yourself, try to literally be him by adopting all of his habits, interests, or hobbies.

This guy with a girlfriend keeps flirting with me and its making me uncomfortable, how do I tell him that it’s not OK?

Start hitting on his girlfriend and see how he likes it; and if she is down, start to date her, then after a couple weeks start to go steady. Once you have been together for 1-2 years propose and get married, then decide to start a family. Once your children have moved out and you two are living alone once again, retire and get a townhome in the Florida Keys and live out your days as happy retirees who enjoy crocheting, bridge, and shuffleboard…That’ll teach him.

I think my teachers hate me, they never help me with anything and don’t really answer my questions, how do I manage it?

They probably do. But also, you might just be asking the wrong questions. Try questions like “what are those?” to demonstrate that you’re deeply curious about the material being taught in class. Once you do this, your teachers will respect your curiosity and your knowledge of dank memes.