The geese. They’re well-known, scary, loud, and obnoxious. Nobody invited them, but they’ve decided to take up a permanent residence at our school, coming back every year at Spring time. The geese are the punch line of jokes, the proud owners of a Facebook page and a Twitter account, and an essential part of the HCHS experience.

They’ve lived at our school for as long as we can remember and have harmed or hissed at an innumerable number of students and faculty. But this is not their fault.

This school is somewhere we come for a few hours every day, but we don’t sleep here and we certainly don’t live here. But you know who does live here? The geese. This is their home, the place where some of them have decided to raise their babies, the place they stay every single night in the warmer seasons. They have more of a right to our school than we do.

Secondly, if you don’t want to be attacked by a goose (and here’s a crazy thought) don’t go near the geese. I’ve been afraid of birds for as long as I can remember, so I stay away from them, a strategy that has worked for 17 years now.

The mother goose just wants her baby geese to be safe at all times, and if she feels a threat she will probably bite you, so simply do not threaten the mother goose or baby geese, or actually don’t threaten any of them.

They do not want to bite our legs as we walk past, but they are, at all times, ready, willing, and able to fight in order to defend their families. So noble.

When you’re taking the shortcut from the cafeteria to the foreign language hall this spring, do not lurch at the birds, do not walk close to them, and do not antagonize them. I can assure you that they can and will bite you.

The geese live in the courtyard, and you do not, so please just leave them alone.