Dear My Hair,

You were so beautiful. So long. So healthy. Something I always wanted I finally had. My only goal for myself throughout my whole life was to have you. And I ruined it in one day.

“Oops, Sorry, forgot about you, love”. These are the words my hair styler said to me after my thin, frail hair was submerged in bleach for 45 minutes. As she took my hair out of the foils, handfuls of my hair were falling out of my scalp. I didn’t want to show her how upset I was about what she did, but I also couldn’t hold my tears back. My hair was completely white, almost gray. Everytime I think back to this day I wish I would have listened to my instincts telling me not to go to the salon that morning.

I just want to get my story out there so I can prevent this from happening to other people. Natural beauty is so beautiful and it goes unnoticed all the time. I wish I had someone tell me how my hair matched my eyes perfectly and that I looked great the way I was. But I listened to what others said to me and focused on changing myself to fit these standards, made by other people in my life.

I do think that it humbled me though. I really felt like I was on top of the world with my 22 inches, so maybe it was needed to knock me down a few steps. Nevertheless, I ended up hating everything about myself and absorbing my beauty by my hair. As a teenage girl I am constantly comparing myself to other girls and wondering how much happier I would be with my hair back, so with this guilt I feel now I can never tell someone enough to do what you want to be happy, but also don’t lose sight of the beauty you are overlooking.

Going blonde is a phase that I feel like every brunette has in their life. It’s fun and exciting to look so new and feel like your hair color changes your personality somehow. You were so amazing and I’m sorry that I hurt you. We really had something great and I ruined it too quickly. Blonde does not equal beautiful. No hate to blondes, they are obviously beautiful too, I just mean to say that it’s not worth it, from my experience. This is a hard lesson I learned. It took me dying my hair five times and my hair shriveling off until it’s up to my shoulders. Don’t be like me. It is one thing to go blonde because you want to, but after a while it becomes like an addiction.

To give you an update on what’s occupying my scalp right now, I  have dyed it back to brown and cut off the last five long strands- on my head and finally said goodbye by cutting a blunt cut about five inches below my collarbone, I don’t hate it but every now and then I just get angry about what I did to you.

So, to my beautiful hair, wherever in the world you are, I want to say thank you for bringing me so much joy, I’m sorry that I didn’t appreciate you more when I had you. 

With Love,

Emilee Biondi