So, you want to know how to look spiffy for prom? Well, you came to the right place. I’m super spiffy. So spiffy, you can call me a spiff-muffin. Now, that’s spiffy.

First step for looking spiffy at prom: get a cool shirt. If you already have a shirt, get another one. Because knowing you, you the shirt is not cool. You’re lame.

The shirt has to have a lot of patterns. The more patterns, the better. If you want some inspiration, look at Will Smith in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. He always had the spiffiest shirt around.

The next step is the jacket. Make sure to go to a landfill and find the worst jacket you can find. This go against your intuition, but stay with me. If the jacket sucks, then your super spiffy shirt will pop more. It‘ll make you definitely stand out at prom.

Last step, get a pair of underwear and put them on. Boxers are better than briefs because they let you be more free on the dance floor. No pants: that’s too mainstream.

Now, you may think that I’ve forgotten about the shoes. Nope. No shoes. No shoes are the way to go. Going along with the theme of being free, it’ll let you experience life like I did when I was roaming the streets of India. Additionally, it has a lot of health benefits. It strengthens your feet. I don’t really know the specifics, but I read it off of some website. I’m sure it’s reliable. Finally, you’ll get a chance to show everyone how big your feet are. And you know what they say about big feet? People with big feet have big hearts. Everyone likes a guy with a big heart.

“I’m definitely going to try these tips this year,” said Aleks Konstantinovic, super attractive senior. “I’m ready to be spiffy.”